was a church that had problem with
outsiders parking in its parking lots,
so they put up a sign: CHURCH
CAR PARK - FOR MEMBERS ONLY;
Trespassers will be
- Walmart is not the only saving place !
" Free Trip to heaven.
Details Inside ! "
- God does not believe in
atheists, therefore atheists do not exist.
" Running low on
faith ? Stop in for a fill-up . "
- Staying in bed shouting "
OH GOD" does not constitute going to
" This is a ch
_ _ ch. What
is missing ? " ------ ( U
" Try our Sundays.
They are better than Baskin-Robbins
" Searching for a
new look ? Have your faith lifted
here ! "
In the dark ?
Follow the son .
- Exposure to the SON may
- Life is like a pencil,
without Jesus there's no point.
Dusty Bibles lead
to Dirty Lives .
- Read the Bible - It will
scare the hell out of you !
- Try Jesus, if you don't
like Him, the devil will always take
Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon .
An ad for one Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, " For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets ."
- They are some questions
that can't be answered by Google.
People are like tea bags - you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are .
- Adam blamed Eve, Eve blamed
the snake and the snake didn't have
a leg to stand on.
If you're headed
in the wrong direction,
God allows U-turns
- Bring your sin to the
Altar and drop it like it's Hot.
It is unlikely
there'll be a reduction in the wages
of sin .
- Salvation guaranteed or all
sins refunded !
- Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school but they can in prison ?
- Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside ?
Forbidden fruit creates
many jams .
- How do we make Holy
water ? We boil the hell out of it
- Honk if you love Jesus, text while driving if you want to meet Him.
" Come work for
the Lord. The work is hard, the
hours are long and the pay is low.
But the retirement benefits are out of
this world . "
If you can't sleep,
don't count sheep. Talk to the
- Money is gone, nothing is gone；
Health is gone, half is gone； Hope is gone, everything is gone.
- Be careful who you
trust, the devil was once angel.
- Noah - the original
Pokemon master !
- Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over ?
If you don't like the way you were
born, try being born
May every sunrise bring
May every sunset bring you peace....